Dating with Children

      Internet dating, hookups, blind dates, and the odd booty call -- how does this cornucopia of dating delights mesh with your role as a mom and caregiver to your kids? It all comes down to this: You can have the time of your life right now. After all, you are a consenting adult and chances are you have been through hell, but your kids don't need to know anything about it.

      For some of us, this "throwing our dates in the kids' faces" thing might just be one of our major issues with our exes. Some of them may have taken the relationship equivalent of a packet of Tang, added water, and created an instant family. He might already have a new girlfriend, perhaps who lives with him, and maybe even with kids of her own. Or, worse, your ex may have a live-in who wants to have a New Year's baby and you just happen to notice it's already Memorial Day!

      Things can move really quickly when people get out of a relationship. And how can we expect our children to grieve and understand the loss of their own family as they know it if Mommy or Daddy already has a brand-new partner or family in place? The message it sends to them is: "You were a really good family while it lasted but I think I hooked a real winner this time round. And don't worry, it might seem like I just met your new mommy, but we have been together for ages -- just ask your mom! And wait until you meet her kids! I mean, your new brothers and sisters! We're like the best family ever, minus your mom and your own bedrooms, because now you have to share. Anybody want to go to Disneyland?"