6 Signs Your Kid Is a Victim of Cyberbullying

Learn how to read the signs of cyberbullying, and how you can help your teen if they're being bullied online.

By Emma Steven January 21, 2021

Now that our kids are interacting on the Internet more than ever, the age-old act of bullying has gone from the playground to the internet. According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, 36.5 percent of children aged 12-17 years old say they have been cyberbullied. While there are now apps like mSpy that allow parents to monitor their child’s communication online, it’s difficult to predict or prevent a child from being a target. Here are tips for how to spot a cyberbully and how to prevent your kid from being internet bullied or bullying anyone online.

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is internet bullying that occurs over digital devices like computers, cell phones, and tablets, according to stopbullying.gov. It most often occurs over social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok), text messaging, instant messaging, email, online forums, and online gaming communities. Some cyberbullying can even be deemed criminal.

6 Signs of Cyberbullying

Your teen deletes current or starts new social media accounts.

It's no secret that social media is huge for virtually all tweens, teens, and even some kids. However, if you notice your teen is suddenly using her phone (or other devices) more or less than usual, take note—especially if she is wary to discuss it. Another important red flag is if she shuts down existing social media accounts and/or open new ones.

“If you see that your kid is not interested in their phone, that’s a big sign,” says Ross Ellis, founder and CEO of STOMP Out Bullying, the leading bullying prevention nonprofit.

Your kid engages in emotional texting.

Does he get upset or angry when a text or email comes in? Does he laugh hysterically at something but won’t explain why? It’s important to pay attention to unusual emotional reactions to online communication—it could mean your teen is feeling uncomfortable with something that’s developing. While no one expects you to know what every message coming into your teen's phone says, it's important that you're not entirely in the dark about it.

Your kid has uncharacteristic mood swings.

Another sign of cyberbullying is a teen who becomes withdrawn and depressed, and loses interest in activities, Ellis says. She can also become angry or anxious or complain of feeling ill more often. Take any change in mood seriously, and check in with your teen if this becomes apparent. Sometimes "how are you?" can go a very long way.

Your teen's behavior changes suddenly.

Ellis also recommends looking out for a decline in grades, or changes in eating and sleeping habits. Your teen may also change his route home from school or start refusing to go to school all together.

Your teen is more secretive than usual.

Tweens and teens are notoriously private but it’s wise to start investigating if your teen starts to seem much more concerned about hiding her screen. If this is a new pattern, you may want to consider the benefits of using mSpy to monitor your kid's communication online.

Your teen now avoids hanging out with friends.

If your kid suddenly wants to avoid certain social situations, like hanging out with a specific group of friends, or doing a certain activity, he may be being bullied, Ellis says. Ask your teen how his friends are doing and if it's a particularly negative reaction, you may want to look into it more.

What to Do If Your Kid Is a Victim of Cyberbullying

If you think your teen might be a victim, it’s important to offer her support—but approach it delicately. Ellis recommends talking in general terms rather than asking directly. For example: “I’m reading a lot about cyberbullying and bullying and it’s really happening a lot. Does it happen at your school? Do you know anyone it’s happening to?” Even if she doesn’t open up, it’s important to reinforce that you are there for her, you love her, and will do your best to help.

If you find out he is being cyberbullied, stopbullying.gov recommends keeping a record and screenshots, then reporting directly to the social media platform as well as your kid's school. If your kid is receiving threats of violence or worse, or if a crime or illegal behavior is happening, report it to the police.

Finally, make sure your kid knows the rules of the cyber road. “A parent has to be computer savvy,” Ellis says. “You have to communicate with your kids constantly. It’s not a one-time conversation. Parents need to raise responsible digital citizens because if they don’t, there’s a possibility their kids are going to bully someone, or they will be bullied.”

For more help and support, visit stompoutbullying.org and staysafeonline.org.

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